After-Hour Team Exclusions
by Andrew Downing
In 2017, I was working for a hotel management company and traveled each month to a ski-resort to help their accounting team manage the month-end process. It was my first opportunity to lead, and I had just started reading leadership books. Naturally, I was pumped to make an impact, bring the team together, and improve the culture.
One of my ideas was to have "Team Dinners," where we'd talk about our lives and forge better relationships. I was excited and thought the dinners were an excellent idea. However, every month, they were poorly attended. In a 10-person accounting department, only two or three people were able to attend each dinner. To say I was a little disappointed is an understatement. I wrongfully took the low attendance as a sign of dissonance within the department.
Now, I understand the error in my ways. As a new parent, I have a better perspective. Yes, team-building activities are fun and can strengthen relationships - but I have realized that after-hour events are exclusionary for anyone with other responsibilities.
I have experienced numerous interviews that used "group happy hours" as a selling point for their fun culture. But now that I need to pick up my daughter from daycare before 5:00, the happy hours mean nothing and exclude me from the team.
By asking the accounting department at the ski resort to come to dinner after hours I was putting unnecessary pressure on them to choose between their responsibilities and their work. I was trying to bring people together. Instead, I alienated them by not giving them a fair opportunity to be included. I'm sure they felt guilty for not being able to attend because I feel guilty when I can't attend happy hour at my current job. No matter how many times I told them it was perfectly acceptable if they couldn't come, I was wrong.
As leaders, we need to recognize what we are doing when we schedule activities outside of work. Until we have an equitable society, after-hour activities will disproportionally affect women, which makes it harder for them to socialize, network, and connect with the group. As the next generation of leaders, we must avoid exclusion. Managers should strive to bring people together, but team-building events need to take place during work and include everyone.